Is Curiosity a Superpower? Hmm, I wonder…
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"Wisdom begins when we turn toward our suffering with curiosity rather than resistance."
– Christina Feldman
The end of 2024 brought a good deal of change and loss, but even though these things were totally unexpected and pretty shocking, I realized right away that I’d been preparing for it all for a long time. I felt ready to handle it. So I was recently talking with a friend about how much easier it was to navigate everything than it would have been, say, ten years ago. And it hit me that I simply don’t look at the world the same way I used to, through a lens of fear and anxiety. After that conversation I was wracking my brain – “What’s the word for this way of perceiving and relating to the things that happen??” And very soon I started hearing all sorts of teachers and writers talking about curiosity.
I know thousands of people share my adoration for Elizabeth Gilbert’s Substack Community (*linked at the bottom). There she has shown us how she’s been using her Letters from Love practice for 20 years to access her own voices of unconditional self-compassion. There is real alchemy in this process. I can’t say with certainty what it is I’m accessing when I do it, but it feels like magic every single time. I’ve come to believe that this particular writing practice creates an immediate, direct bridge to my own higher consciousness, my innate wisdom, my true Self, and ALSO to the part of me that is not separate from the Divine. (It undoubtedly engages different parts of the brain than what’s fired up when I’m feeling really out of sorts and disconnected, for one thing.)
So here is my most recent letter, where I asked my S.O.U.L. (Spirit of Unconditional Love) what it wanted me to know about CURIOSITY. I now believe curiosity probably doesn’t kill the cat – it sets her free. (Please forgive my use of that tired old idiom.) I hope you too will find some inspiration in what I heard, and I would love love love to hear your comments below!
So here is my most recent letter, where I asked my S.O.U.L. (Spirit of Unconditional Love) what it wanted me to know about CURIOSITY. I now believe curiosity probably doesn’t kill the cat – it sets her free. (Please forgive my use of that tired old idiom.) I hope you too will find some inspiration in what I heard, and I would love love love to hear your comments below!
It is choosing not to assume that you know – asking the questions instead of declaring, “this is how it is.” It’s letting yourself rest in the liminal space where the infinite possibilities of NOT KNOWING allow you to encounter new ideas. It is beginner’s mind, no matter how old you are or how much you’ve already seen of the world.
It is witnessing what is, without your judgements and agendas blurring the view.
Curiosity means asking:
I wonder what will happen.
I wonder what else is also true.
I wonder why they just said that.
I wonder if I can…
I wonder how…
It’s staying for a moment, and then another moment; being with a thing long enough to start to understand. Not turning your back as soon as you feel that click of false certainty in your mind as it categorizes everything as either good or bad, wanted or unwanted.
Resisting the labels that your mind wants to assign at a mere glance to absolutely everything.
When you get curious, you stand a chance of actually seeing someone’s true nature. Because you must admit: Everyone is bafflingly complex and you can’t possibly know at a glance where they’ve been, who they really are, what’s important to them, what they love, what they fear and why.
Curisoity is the opposite of “I don’t like this. This isn’t what I want. This isn’t how things should be.” – And thus it’s your escape from the endless nauseating carousel of attraction, aversion, attraction, aversion all day long.
Curiosity doesn’t always come easily to you, does it, dear one? It’s so far from how you were taught to survive the terrors and insults of living. You were taught that you needed your fear and anxiety on high alert in order to survive. In fact, I see most people in your part of the world being convinced of this from an early age. How I wish I could show everyone that it simply isn’t true. It was your paradigm - And yet, in so many dark and difficult times, you have found curiosity instead. (OK, yes. I may have helped by nudging you a bit. You’re quite welcome. ❤️)
It's your curiosity that has kept you going, isn’t it? The seed of hope that starts to sprout in your heart during moments of deep suffering, the knowing that there’s got to be more to the story that feels so wretched and wrong. It’s what has always given you the strength to rise up and keep living as if there simply has to be a way forward, even if you don’t see it yet.
Your curiosity has been your RESILIENCE.
It’s the relieved exhale after you let go of the assumptions and worst-case scenarios you were gripping so tightly.
It’s, “Wow. This is really interesting.”
And when you’ve met your fear and anxiety with curiosity, haven’t you often felt them ease up a little? It’s a reset. It’s a way towards some calm and some clarity, and then some hope. The chance of some optimism for you, my sweet pessimistic little porcupine.
Curiosity is the magical MAYBE:
I don’t see how, but maybe this is going to be OK.
Maybe I’m stronger than I feel right now.
Maybe I can find what I need.
Maybe I can ask for what I need.
Curiosity is a superpower, my love. Go forth and wonder! You are wonder-full. 😊
And now, for the science-minded, there are some concrete ways that curiosity has been shown to decrease anxiety:
Encourages presence & mindfulness
Disrupts the cycle of rumination
creates psychological flexibility
Shifts focus from fear to exploration
Promotes a growth mindset
Encourages action instead of avoidance
Engages the brain’s reward system
Fosters more connection and social ease
What do you think about the ways curiosity shows up in your life? The next time you find yourself facing fear or uncertainty, maybe remembering the power of "I wonder..." can allow for a wider perspective and start to transform the "what if’s" of dread into "what if’s" of possibility.
*Letters From Love with Elizabeth Gilbert is here. She even has What, Why, and How pages for anyone new to the practice. If you give it a shot, I think it’s pretty unlikely you’ll regret it!
I am also on Substack! Find me here